just to make it through..

..today...I am praying he makes it through...

I am afraid he is losing it...Dad, mom and Steven yesterday...was not a good day...for Nicko...he is spiraling so fast and Steven confirmed what I thought I was seeing..."Mom, he is losing, it"

He is not eating...he is not sleeping...

He said they are checking his blood pressure everyday and he doesnt know why...Stormy says it is because he is not eating...he says its high...

He sent me all his pictures and his favorite song list...dad has a meeting today and I hope we get some insight as to how to help him...

He told me not to write and not to send pictures or books...it occured to me he has absolutely nothing to do all day then...except contemplate what is coming....so he may get pissed off at me...but I am back to writing and I am back to sending pictures and books......

I know that you are watching over him and I know that you will not give him more than he can bear...maybe I can't bear it?  I know I cannot bear to see what I am seeing...

AMEN